I’m Thankful for the Kindness of a Stranger

Have you ever felt a tug on your heart. An idea that was placed in your head.

Often it seems as though it has come out of nowhere but it gnaws at you. It often seems so crazy. Your try to ignore it.

You continue to pray for guidance, friendship, and help and wonder why you aren’t getting any answers? I am sure that God it thinking that I am so dense that 2X4 over the head wouldn’t even get my attention at this point.

So, God took it up a notch.

He placed people in my life to encourage me to attend Jacob’s well. It all started with a random conversation from a friend.

Tess was saying how much she loved her church, the youth program and she put me in contact with the youth leader.

I ran into a neighbor, Lisa when she stopped by my house who bragged on how great they were with her family and her son and how all of my children would love the youth program.

I ran into Stacy at a volleyball game in spring who had encouraged us to attend.

Really three people looking back that brought up church to me at random separate occasions. But yet I drug my feet. I loved our old church. I had gone there forever. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings.

I was so full of excuses.

God has always been a very important part of my life.

When Chad and I first met we met at a church camp. We both attended bible college and Chad graduated with a degree in youth ministry.

He was a youth minister of a small church in Onalaska. There was not a day that we weren’t at church.

We loved the members, the youth group, and have many great memories of our time there. I always wanted that for my children.

So, fast forward to the present. When you have a child with special needs church is one of the bigger challenges.

What do you do with your child?

In the beginning the nursery was appropriate but as time goes by you can’t put a 6 year old in the nursery. He can’t attend the typical 6 year old class.

He struggles with sitting, is working on basic communication, and has sensory aversions to loud noises. He doesn’t understand why you would color and lacks the fine motor to hold a crayon.

Usually myself or one of my girls would be his “aid” at church. But there comes a point when I longed to be able to attend church. I needed the adult interaction, to learn, and be encouraged by God’s word.

My girls stated they wanted to go to their own class.

So, for a while we just stopped going. I know that sounds ridiculous. I have 4 children that want to go to church and I decide to take the easy way out and stay home.

So, the day came. I had been worn down, we were going to Jacob’s Well.

I walked slowly to Brayden’s classroom not knowing what to expect. I felt like I was walking down an never ending hallway.

I had a pain in my stomach and knot in my throat. I am not sure who was more anxious he or I.

I had a million excuses that day of why not to go to church. The bottom line was I was scared.

Brayden thrives on routine. When he doesn’t know what to expect he becomes anxious. When he becomes anxious he can exhibit this in a number of different ways.

He becomes loud, he spins, twirls, sifts, and throws things. He often requires deep pressure to regulate himself. If this anxiety bomb is not diffused it can result in Brayden acting out physically.

He may bite, pull hair, or squeeze you neck/arm a little to tight.

When I take Brayden new places I often feel that people are overwhelmed and don’t know how to react. When Brayden invades their personal space with an unexpected hug, or too tight of a squeeze often they feel uncomfortable.

When you have a child that doesn’t communicate well you worry about if their needs being met and basic safety. Communication on the talker or following Brayden’s version of sign language isn’t always the easiest to understand.

Let’s be honest, we we all want something and no one understands we become frustrated. I worried how the church would react when he gagged on play doh or spun and twirled while the songs were being song.

I didn’t want to take away from the other children at lesson time. I worried about him being sensory overloaded and squeezing someone too tight. Brayden does not understand sharing.

All of these thoughts spinning round and round in my head.

As we approached the door we were immediately met by a woman named Yvette. This was the first time that we had met.

She had a sense of calmness about her. All of the anxiety and fear that I had just melted away.

I wish I could explain it but I immediately knew that Brayden was going to be OK. Maybe it was the sweet smile or the the way that she got down at eye level to say, “hi.”

She listened as I showed her his backpack of snacks, drinks, the talker, headphone, and random fidgets. She assured me that they would be fine and said she would text me with any problems. But she guaranteed me she would not need to call.

“Enjoy the service,” she said as she directed Brayden in the direction of the toys.

She stated that she would be with Brayden the whole time. When I picked him up that day he was sitting at a table sifting Pom poms. They were everywhere.

Yvette was sitting right next to him playing and talking quietly to him. Yvette told me about the break through they had experienced.

Brayden had snuggled in and touched her face. She melted my heart when she said that he had made her day. Today was the first day that my entire family was able to attend church.

I felt victorious.

As the weeks have passed each week I have found myself eagerly looking forward to church on Sunday.

Today Yvette showed me the sensory room. A sensory room!!!!

I didn’t know churches had such a thing. I could tell that Brayden had definitely been in there as I looked around. She proceeded to show me all the activities that her and Brayden did together.

All of the activities were tailored to things that Brayden would enjoy. How did she know this?

She said that each week he is able to stay in the classroom longer and longer. The lesson time is when he starts to struggle. So at that point when she notices that he is getting overwhelmed they take a sensory break. The other teacher texts her when they are done and he returns to his friends.

Yvette said that today he made a friend. She said that the little girl wanted to play with him.

The young girl was curious why he wasn’t answering her questions. When Yvette told her he didn’t talk the little girl said, “OK, I can try a different way.”

Talk about touching a mother’s heart.

Yesterday I watched the interaction of Brayden in the class. One of the helpesr was playing a fishing game with another small boy.

Brayden loves when things spin and he was quickly drawn to the game. The fish that had been caught were on the table and Brayden quickly picked them up and put them back into place.

The teenage boy told him that he did a great job and offered him his pole. The other 6 year old smiles and fished out another fish for Brayden to put back in its place.

I was told that it was Brayden’s job to put the fish back once they were caught. I knew at that moment Brayden was going to be just fine.

I can’t even express what Yvette, her kindness, friendship, and knowledge of children means to me.

When I asked her what she did for a job she said, “I am a mom.” She said she too has a child with sensory needs.

She has just read, educated herself and has always volunteered in churches to help kids with special needs.

She said , “God just made me this way, it isn’t anything taught.”

Each Sunday, Yvette shares a nugget of wisdom that I hadn’t thought of, haven’t read or tried. As I have said previously God knows what you need even before you need it.

He places people in your path if you just take the time to listen to that tug on your heart. God knew I needed the wisdom, kindness, and genuine shining of God’s love through a stranger.

Thank you Yvette. You have made such an impact on me, my family, and every person that you come in contact with.

Written by, Laura Eiler

Laura Eiler – mother of 5. I am looking for ways each day to find the “blessings” in autism. I know that God has given us Brayden for a special reason and I want to make sure that I fulfill his plan. Laura shares their families journey with autism at A Day in the Life of Brayden.

(Editor’s Note: This article was provided by Laura Eiler and is part of Cooper’s, ‘I’m Thankful For You’ Campaign.)

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