He Isn’t a Sad Story…
“… he isn’t a sad story.”
Those are the words that changed my world.
I always dreamed of becoming a mother. There was nothing I wanted more in life. Boy or girl I didn’t care, I just wanted a healthy little baby to love.
I remember the day we found out we were having a little boy. My husband Josh was over the moon happy, talking about all the things they would do together. I think a part of the excitement came from him not growing up with his father (he passed away when he was two).
He would finally get that father/son bond that he always wanted.
Little did we know that all those thoughts about playing sports, hunting/fishing and just bonding would be so unclear. We didn’t know if that was even a part of our future when we received the diagnoses of Autism.
When our son Brayden was around 18 months old we knew something was different about him. He flapped his arms, he walked on his tippy toes, he never made eye contact and he didn’t say anything.
So, like any concerned parents we did our research and came to the conclusion that he showed a lot of signs of Autism which we knew nothing about but as we continued to learn, we also continued to realize how unknown our future would be.
After a battle of trying to get help he was finally diagnosed at the age of three years old. I will never forget that day.
In our hearts I was already mentally prepared for this day. I knew we would hear the words and I would have relief that we finally have answers and we would celebrate! Little did I know that I would have the complete opposite reaction.
I broke down. My heart was crushed. Every little bit of hope that I was holding onto was officially taken away from me.
I knew that “Autism” would now become our life.
Later that night I was talking to Josh ‘like pouring my heart out talking’ and he was just listening to me and not saying much. Now keep in mind Josh is a man of very few words and doesn’t show emotion often so it wasn’t that uncommon for him to be this way but to me I was offended that he was acting the way he was.
I was hurt that our son was just diagnosed and yet he didn’t even seem to care. I didn’t understand.
“Why is it that you get all emotional over your ESPN stories you watch yet you aren’t even upset about your own damn son!?” I asked extremely emotional and could barely get my words out.
He looked at me and said, “Because those are sad stories, he isn’t a sad story.”
At that moment it clicked. He was absolutely right and said exactly what I needed to hear. He is not a sad story, his story has become one of the best ones ever written.
I am so proud of the amazing progress my now almost four year old has made. Because of those powerful words my husband said to me, he opened my eyes, I refuse to let a diagnoses define our son or limit him in life.
I have to be honest. The struggle is real and I genuinely mean that.
Having a child with special needs can cause obstacles in a relationship that you never knew would exist. I am happy to say our son has made us stronger.
Sure, we have our moments that we disagree and annoy each other but who doesn’t. We both know this isn’t the life we planned but turned out God had an even better plan for us.
I am so thankful for my amazing, helpful, supportive loving husband Josh. I had no idea we would face so many struggles in this journey together but I wouldn’t want to face them with anyone else but him.
He is my strength when I struggle to find it.
He is truly the best father Brayden could ever have.
He is patient. Not only with our son which is so important in our world but with me.
We always laugh that Brayden is exactly like Josh because they both don’t say much. Yet they have the strongest bond I’ve even seen from a father & son.
Love needs no words anyways.
Written by, Irene Lewis
I am a full time working Mom. I live in Buffalo, NY. I have been married to my amazing husband Josh for 5 years. My son is the greatest blessing I could have ever prayed for.
(Editor’s Note: This article was provided by Irene Lewis and is part of Cooper’s, ‘I’m Thankful For You’ Campaign.)
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