Being Afraid to Talk about Autism

Today, I brought my new baby in for his one month check-up. I asked all my questions and found out that he is as perfect as can be. All 12 pounds of him.

As I breathed my sigh of relief, I asked the question I was too afraid to ask when Cooper was this age. ‘When do I worry about lack of speech?’

It felt good to say it out loud. This time I’m not afraid to ask questions.

In this video I reflect on the days before Cooper’s diagnosis.

I would talk about my son with friends, family or even doctors and it dawned on me quickly that something was different about him. I’d talk about how he didn’t sleep….ever. Or how he was anxious as a baby. Or whatever milestone he wasn’t reaching at the time and I’d hope for validation that their kids (or kids they knew) were like mine.

Only, they weren’t. I started to get afraid to vent. Or to talk about him. Because pointing out the differences felt scary and wrong. It felt way too real.

So, I stopped talking.

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  • erin

    November 16, 2018 at 8:36 am
    Reply

    yes. my son is 3, diagnosed this past july. i used to take him to storytime at the library - all the other kids were […] Read Moreyes. my son is 3, diagnosed this past july. i used to take him to storytime at the library - all the other kids were sitting with their moms in a circle looking at books while my son got up 57 times to pull books off of shelves and run around. i too was always sweating. and i remember thinking he was doing all this because he was so smart and bored! and he is super smart, but now i see there were other issues at play all along. we have a 3 month old and are watching him like a hawk for any signs now that we know more what to look for. thank you so much for sharing your life...i am new to all of this and have found you so inspiring and your blog has been helping me through some rough nights. Read Less

  • Ida

    November 22, 2018 at 12:27 am
    Reply

    How do you potty train? Help!!

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Finding Cooper's Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you're never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village....all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to my page!

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When my son was first diagnosed with autism no one was talking about it. Autism was hidden. I vow to change that.
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