November 1, 2018

To the Parents Whose Kids Won’t Trick-or-Treat

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To all the parents whose kids most likely won’t trick-or-treat tonight. I understand what you are feeling. I am you. My child is yours. Another holiday. Another thing that will be a struggle.

Another day that most kids enjoy. That they wait for. They they get excited about. Except, your child doesn’t. Another thing that should be easy. Simple. Except, it’s not.

I want to acknowledge how hard it is to have a child that doesn’t care about holidays, birthdays, the tooth fairy, presents, visiting Santa, etc.

It has nothing to do with the act of going door to door to get candy. It’s so much more than that.

It has everything to do with the anticipation. Talking to your child about their costume. The build up. Seeing them get excited. Preparing. Spending time together. Taking the adorable photos. Sharing them with the grandparents. Posting them to Facebook. Spending time with your neighbors. Feeling part of the community. Helping them sort their candy after. Talking all about the fun you had together. And preparing for next year.

You think it’s about the actual act. It’s not. It’s so much more. It’s watching your child experience joy. That’s what you are missing. And it’s okay to say how hard that is.

Take a listen. I understand friends.

https://www.facebook.com/findingcoopersvoice/videos/196811467881594/

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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3 Comments

  1. SUE on November 1, 2018 at 4:03 pm

    Thank you for sharing your heart. It helps me understand friends who have children with challenges that are outside my experiences.
    Blessings
    Sue



  2. 1badkitty on November 1, 2018 at 8:21 pm

    You are an amazing mom! I feel you ❤️



  3. Jessica Bluhm on November 1, 2018 at 9:04 pm

    I just want to tell you how much I love your posts. I am taking my 3 1/2 year old son next Thursday for an appointment at an autism diagnostic center and I have so many emotions. I have been a special education teacher for 12 years, and like you I have grieved for the all the milestones I have missed. I never thought in a million years I would be on the other side of the IEP table advocating for my son as I have for so many of my students. Your posts have made cry, laugh, smile and experience joy. I love how real you are and there is so much truth to what you say. Thank you for sharing your journey it has touched so many lives in such great ways.