I am His Person and He is Mine

My son Cooper is always with me. Always in the same room. Always near me. We move throughout the house together. He’s my little shadow. Never doing what I’m doing. Just always near. When I’m gone he asks for me.

He is seven years old and as he ages, I’ve noticed the dependence on me getting stronger. When in reality it should be lessening. But, our world is different. He is on his own path. He has severe, nonverbal autism.

As his mother, I understand him. I have him at the center of my universe.

I am his person. In a way he is mine. He doesn’t have friends or obligations. He’s always home with me or dad. Jamie and I joke that we haven’t been alone since he was born.

He’s dependent on us in a unique way that only people in our world would understand. And I am obsessed with him in a way too I guess. I know what he needs. I know what he wants. I even feel off when he’s not here. It just doesn’t feel right.

With my other son Sawyer it’s really never been like this. He’s five. He has friends already. Play dates and sleepovers and sports. He’s busy. He has a life. People he loves. Depends on. He’s growing up. In a way, it feels like Cooper isn’t.

I often wonder if Cooper and I act like some old married couple. We are always ‘chatting’ with each other. Arguing. Sitting on a porch or couch together. We go for walks together. I picture the future and what we will look like. Me and my boy.

Does any one else feel this way? Or wonder what the future looks like?

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Finding Cooper's Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you're never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village....all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to my page!

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When my son was first diagnosed with autism no one was talking about it. Autism was hidden. I vow to change that.
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