Will My Autistic Son Learn to Read?

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When my son was diagnosed with autism at age three I was flooded with emotions and questions. I wanted to know what our future looked like. I wanted to know if my son would ever be potty trained, speak, live on his own. The list goes on and on. I felt like our future had been changed in an instant.

For years I would ask therapists and teachers question after question. I’d ask if they thought he would ever talk. Some would say yes. Some would so no. Some would say maybe. And the smart ones would say, ‘I don’t have a crystal ball but he definitely can keep learning and improving with the right combination of therapy.’

That answer drove me crazy. Actually, they all did.

I just wanted a glimpse into our future. What did it look like?

Around age five, I stopped asking therapists, teachers and doctors those questions. It was too hard to hear about kids that started talking at 10, 15, or 20. It was too hard to hear about kids that were nonverbal their whole lives. It was all too hard.

At that time, we started really focusing on nonverbal communication. We focused on sign language, upward inflection, and his speech device. I wanted my son to be able to communicate with me so badly and at the time those were the best ways to encourage him.

It took a long time my friends. We had to get Cooper to want to communicate. Eventually, it started clicking. Now, he can speak 4-6 word sentences on his speech device. Yes, the sentences are mostly needs and wants. But that’s okay. Once we gave him a voice his whole personality changed. It’s like he came alive.

In the past six months, I have started wondering about reading and writing again. My son is not in traditional education anymore. He currently attends 40 hours of ABA Therapy a week where education is not the primary focus. Right now he is learning how to learn. That’s what is best for him. Except, I have this nagging, worrying feeling that the world is passing him by.

Thankfully, we have worked on Cooper’s letters since he was 12 months old. We started with flashcards and alphabet sound games. He LOVES letters.

Just a few weeks ago I learned that my son can spell words like ‘cat, dog, mom, dad, and Cooper.’ It takes a lot of patience. More often than not he is incredibally silly. He spends his time flailing and rolling. This is why we teach on the ground. We use rewards. We use snuggles, kisses, hugs and SO MUCH PRAISE.

And you know what, it’s paid off.

Someday, my son might learn to read. He might learn to fully spell. And write. And type.

All of this equals communication and independence.

Take a watch while Jamie and I work with Cooper on spelling. You can see how silly he is. He will pick the wrong letter for fun. It just takes patience and a whole lotta hope.

Teaching Cooper like this takes a lot of time. We could live our whole lives teaching, modeling, encouraging and correcting him. I want you to know it gets incredibly overwhelming. That is why we take it in chunks. We set goals. We start small. Sometimes they take months or years to accomplish. Sometimes, they go fast. We never give up though.

Enjoy!

Timer: http://shrsl.com/sjvl

Puzzle: Melissa & Doug See-Inside Alphabet Peg Puzzle

Puzzle: Melissa & Doug See-Inside ABC Large Wooden Puzzle (26 pcs)

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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1 Comment

  1. Lori on March 5, 2018 at 8:14 pm

    Hi Kate! I’ve been reading about Cooper for the past couple weeks and I can see that he is an amazing kid with so much potential. With your strength and determination, Cooper has grown up to be the joyful boy that you raised him to be. It is completely natural for parents to get frustrated and compare their children to their peers. Just because Cooper has a different mind and views the world in a different way than we do, that just makes him even more significant. Don’t let other parents make you feel like your son is falling behind and that you are less of a parent, you are doing the best you can. Society focus’s so much on fitting in with these social narratives, but if we all looked the same and thought the same, this world would be extremely boring. It’s amazing what you have done with Coopers education. Your persistence and dedication to Cooper is admirable, and one day he will find his voice. Thank you for sharing your story, you have helped so much with learning about patience and dedication.