August 15, 2025
Raising a Child with Autism: Finding Comfort in Uncomfortable Moments
When I was in college I took a psychology course. I’ll admit I don’t remember much. But one lesson on social norms stands out to me.
Our professor asked us to stand backwards in an elevator. He advised us to walk in, push the button, and face the wrong way.
He explained that doing things differently than they are ‘supposed’ to be done makes people uncomfortable.
I’ll tell you this:
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned as a mom to a child with autism is how to be comfortable in uncomfortable
situations. And how to laugh. And be okay with the stares. And be a shield for my boy.
My son Cooper is 14. And he does not understand social norms.
He waves to every stranger. In person and in traffic on the freeway.
If your car window is down and he walks by you he will wave happily and say hi.
He walks down the center of the hallway.
He will sit anywhere. Including elevators.
And if you are living on a city street, he will sit down next to you and show you a photo of his favorite train.
There is no holding back a burp or other body noises. And modesty isn’t really his thing.
He loves a hug and a high five. And a bald head. And men with beards.
I’ve seen it all.
I live in a consistently uncomfortable state. Always. And it wasn’t easy for me at first.
Fourteen years in and it’s easier now.
I offer a smile. An explanation. I hold my breath sometimes. And I pray for kindness and grace.
And autism acceptance.
To be with this boy is to love this boy. To believe in him. To defend and protect. And to stop at a random fire truck for photos.
He’s so worth the discomfort. This I know.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.
