May 13, 2025
If He’s Happy… Then I’m Happy
If you’re happy…then I’m happy.
I read that quote today. I saw it on Kate Hudson’s Instagram. When I read it I was actually hiding in the bathroom. It’s been a long couple of days and an even longer couple of months. A new book. Travel. A retreat for 260 amazing mamas.
So, I was taking five minutes to myself while my daughter blew into a makeshift horn outside of the door and my son’s iPad blared some PSA about internet safety for kids. He’s been watching it for 10 years straight. I have the whole thing memorized. I always chuckle because it talks about how not everyone on the internet is nice.
Oh, the irony in that.
Anyhow, I read Kate’s quote and I looked at the beautiful accompanying photo. It was an old post from Mother’s Day.
I let myself think about my beautiful kids. And my motherhood journey. I let myself think about my son Cooper who is autistic. And who I used to be and who I am now. But mostly, I thought about our journey to his happy.
For many years my son wasn’t happy. He didn’t feel good. He was exhausted all the time. He was full of anxiety and stress. He couldn’t communicate. He spent more time screaming than anything else. People couldn’t understand him.
Autism is hard sometimes. For the person diagnosed and the family. We cant deny that.
I was sad too. And scared. And exhausted.
The diagnosis was one thing, but the level of hard we were living, everyday, was worse.
We were isolated. We were alone. To be honest, for years we had no good days. We had ok days and sad days and exhausting days. I tried to have good days. I planned and tried to keep living but everything failed. I found out my expectations were all wrong I guess.
I blamed myself. Completely.
I let it all consume me too. I was his mother and I couldn’t help him.
And then it hit me. Well, I more crashed into. I went through all the stages of grief and anger and the why him and why us and life isn’t fair and then I crashed. And I realized I need to meet him where he was at. I needed to figure out a way to make him happy. And what truly made him happy. I needed to get him healthy and find services and build a village around him. The rest did not matter.
Once I truly did that, I saw everything differently. Through a different lens.He wants to take a trip to Indiana. And he’s so ready for summer break. My son is happy. He smiles and loves dancing and singing the alphabet and watching trains.
Nothing else matters.
If he’s happy…then I’m happy.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.
