March 11, 2025
Some Kids Never Follow The Beaten Path
Some kids never follow the beaten path…Whether it’s from birth or from a later date, some kids just don’t.
They don’t meet milestones on time. They don’t follow the norm. They don’t do what every other kid is seemingly doing.
My son Cooper is that way.
Some people call him a free spirit. Some call him stubborn, even challenging. Autistic, disabled, special needs…all words thrown in. It’s hard sometimes. I won’t lie about that.
Being different isn’t for the faint of heart. It takes bravery and courage and honesty with oneself. It takes an unbelievable amount of patience and refusal to never give up. It takes thick skin.
What I’ve learned over the years, and I want to share with people who don’t know autism, is that he is not being difficult. He is not making life harder. He isn’t choosing to make life harder.
He just sees the world differently.
We just got back from our walk. It was a challenge to say the least.
Cooper walked a majority of the way in the melting snow alongside the road. He laughed as his rain boots sunk into the mud. Every so often he would stop and pick up a handful of snow. Or a pile of rocks and drop them threw his hands, seemingly studying each stone with precision.
He moved at the pace of snail, taking it all in. It was frustrating. I joke that we often walk backwards and sideways but rarely forwards. He prefers the road to the sidewalk. The ditch to the path. Sitting to walking. Running to sitting.
Numerous times he refused to walk any further. An incentive from me getting him going again.
My son has never met a milestone on time.
He has never done what the rest of the world does. And he has always had to work twice as hard to navigate a world that does not make sense to him.
But he did gasp when he noticed our shadows. He put his hand to my arm, threw his head back and laughed a deep belly laugh at our images on the ground. And for a brief second, I saw us at 70 and 43, walking arm-in-arm, gasping at shadows.
Midway through he turned my cheek to show me a squirrel that I would have missed. And pointed out a nest in a tree. He hooted like an owl too. And when I told him about the bears still sleeping in the woods, he bent over, growled, and moved like a bear. It was amazing and wonderful all at once.
This is our autism. Bursts of color and beauty and wonder and chaos.
Steps forward and backward. Waiting and wondering.
Stepping off the beaten path has allowed me to see the things that most of the world misses. I’ve been forced to slow down. I’ve learned to be grateful for what I have. And I’ve learned to believe in things I cannot see.
It’s lonely sometimes. And yet, I thank the stars that this boy was given to me.
I don’t know if we will ever get back to the typical path. The one that everyone else seems to walk. I long for it some days.
And yet I’m thankful for the shadows, the gasps, the growls, and this boy. And our walks.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.
