March 8, 2025
Redefining the Dream: From Speech to Communication
I used to think the end game was speech. That was the goal and the dream for my nonverbal son.
Words. Never ending questions. Conversations about trains and trucks.
Of course I thought that.
First time mom. A mom who knew nothing of the secret world of nonverbal.
A mom who thought everybody talks. Eventually.
‘You need to prepare yourself for a life where Cooper never speaks.’
I’ll never forget that sentence. I was so mad. Angry. Livid. Crushed.
I couldn’t imagine a world where my beautiful son didn’t speak. She had to be wrong. I would prove her wrong. Cooper and I. Together.
After grieving the words that may never come and a whole lot of self growth and acceptance, I realized she was right. And while she didn’t have a crystal ball, she told me that so I’d shift my goal from speech to communication. Because that’s what truly matters for our kids. For anyone really.
Parents, the end game, the goal, the dream, needs to be for functional communication.
Not necessarily words.
You want communication. It’s a simple and as complicated as that.
You want your child to be able to communicate when they are hungry, mad, sad, scared and hurt.
That could be through sign language, pictures, a speech device, approximations, pointing, words or a combination like my Cooper.
Once you give them the tools to communicate a whole new world of opportunity and possibility will open up. You aren’t giving up either. I’ve heard that too. ‘He will never speak if you teach him sign or use a speech device.’ I just smile and educate.
The goal is communication.
Meltdowns will lessen. Personalities will emerge. Life will get easier for your child and the people in this world helping them.
Of course I dream about words. I always will. But my laser focus is on communication and giving him the skills to do so.
And of course giving him the ability to ask to go shopping at the choo choo shop.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.
