February 24, 2025
The Dignity in Every Job: Rethinking What Success Means for Our Kids
I’ve been sharing about autism for nearly ten years now. And over the years, I’ve read and heard and seen some things that have broken me. It’s par for the course I guess when you share publicly.
These days though, I am more seasoned. I’ve learned to sit with comments for a bit before I respond. I try to listen and learn. I try to educate. I’m not perfect. But I try to do good in this world.
The other day I read a comment that made me feel icky in my stomach.
I was sharing about my son Cooper’s transition to high school. And how I am nervous about every single aspect.
Nonverbal autism was one thing when he was 2 and 3. Now he’s as tall as me and wears bigger shoes than I do. It’s different now.
The world isn’t as kind. The stakes feel a bit higher. The pressure a bit heavier.
I am raising a man now.
As we look to high school, as parents, we are asked to answer some big questions. Do we focus on education or independent living skills? What kind of job do we want him to work? What will his life look like after 21 or 22?
It’s heavy. It’s not easy either. I worry. I don’t know if he will be able to work. Will I have to go with him?
I don’t have answers yet. I feel…lost.
As I was sharing all this a commenter said…
“I don’t want my child’s time wasted learning how to sort silverware.’
I felt funny as I read it. Processing.
And I thought to myself, before acknowledging it out loud on the video…
Sorting silverware.
It would be amazing if Cooper could work in a restaurant. Or maybe a snack bar at a pool. Or a cafeteria at a school or hospital.
I can’t even picture it, but it would me unbelievable.
He would be working. He would be with other people besides me. He would have a job. And I bet he could be good at it.
And then I thought, what skills would he need to practice to get there?
I thought back to my many years working in the restaurant industry. And after that, in a nursing home cafeteria as a dietary aide. I worked with all ages of people. All different educational backgrounds.
The service industry. Jobs that EVERY person should do once in their lives.
If Cooper could work in the service industry, I would be so proud of him. Maybe as a janitor. Or maybe doing dishes. I don’t know. But goodness I would be proud of him.
I felt sad by that person’s comment. Now I know nothing about their child. Trust me. Maybe they are the next Albert Einstein. And that’s awesome. But let’s not put down the folks who work in restaurants.
I humbly ask you all to keep your minds open about individuals like my son.
There is nothing wrong with sorting silverware if that’s the highest level of skill he can achieve. In fact, it would be amazing.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.
