My Non-speaking Son Is More


No one has the right to limit or devalue another person.

I’ve been thinking about this so much lately. 

Sometimes I wonder if people realize that they are doing this through their actions, words, and (mis)treatment of others.

Sometimes when people learn that my son Stalen is non-speaking, they immediately count him out, ignore him or underestimate him. 

It’s as if they think the world revolves around being able to speak but that’s simply not the case.

Worth is not determined by spoken words.

Stalen may be non-speaking but he can communicate lots of things with his actions, his body, his expressions, and his AAC device.

He can tell you that he likes blue or that he wants crackers.

He can tell you a joke, share a poem with you, and tell you all about Starbucks.

He can show you his favorite book “Tabby McTat”, play his favorite song and commercials for you, or a video tour from YouTube of our local grocery store.

If you ask him to turn off the light or put something in the garbage for you-he will-because he loves to help others.

If you need an app he can help you select the perfect one, along with a quick download and installation.

He can load Netflix and paramount + and show you his listening library with playlists on Spotify.

He can answer questions and if you ask too many he will sigh and walk away.

He can see if you’re stressed or upset and he will sit tight beside you and hold your hand.

He can make you feel seen, heard and understood, without any words.

He can fill any room to the brim with love, light and the biggest smile.

While some may believe that because he doesn’t speak he is less, I think he is more…

More than a diagnosis….

More than autism…

More than non-speaking….

More than the supports and assistance he requires….

More than developmentally delayed…

More than assumptions, limits and barriers…

More than anything that I could have dreamed, wished, and hoped for in a son.

Written by Chrystal Venator of Stalen’s Way

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Chrystal Venator

Chrystal Venator is a proud Canadian, wife, Mom, Step-Mom, and Parent Advocate. Her son Stalen is 7 years old, amazing, autistic, and non-speaking. Since his diagnosis, Chrystal has become a full time stay at home Mom. She works with her son to increase his independence, to acquire new skills, and to help him become more proficient with his speech device-all while having fun! She is committed to raising autism awareness, and educating others by sharing her journey with her son.

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