It Starts With Us

I get a lot of emails. And messages. Even more comments. And many are from mamas of newly diagnosed kids.

They typically come at 2 am. Or during a much needed nap time. When the exhaustion has creeped in. And the worry.

When the word autism becomes a reality.

They tell me their story. They ask questions. They ask me to tell them it will be okay.

And they ask me me how I got to be so brave. Because they want to be brave too.

They want to be able to talk about autism in casual conversation.

And be okay with never hearing ‘mom’ and ‘I love you.’

They want to be fearless. To be able to push back and fight for basic rights. Because that’s what they see in me.

Here is what I will tell you. Because I think it’s really important to say out loud.

From a mama who has been walking the less traveled path for ten years now…I’m scared every day.

Every single day I worry about my son Cooper.

I worry someone will hurt him.

Or be unkind to him when he flaps him arms or squeals out with joy over an airplane in the sky.

I fear the worst. I go there a lot. I try not too. But sometimes I can’t help it.

What if someone touches him inappropriately? And hits him in anger? And he can’t tell me.

What if he runs into the street? Or sneaks out in the middle of the night to go swimming?

What’s going to happen when he’s a teenager and it’s time to shave his face. And then a man? And he’s bigger than me.

Or when I’m too old to chase him? Or protect his head when he drops to the ground in frustration?

And when I’m 70? And 80? Who will love him? Wipe his mouth and adjust his waistband when it gets bunched up?

What if the person I trust to love him doesn’t know that ‘wwww’ is water and that he likes to sleep with 7 blankets?

Or that he needs to be motivated and pushed to be in this beautiful world.

He can’t be hidden away.

He needs to see the whales and show strangers how he communicates with an iPad.

These worries are all very real. And at any given time they are stacked up on my shoulders. Hunching me down.

I don’t feel brave.

But what I do feel is so much love and devotion for a little boy who deserves everything and more.

Use your fear mamas. Use it to propel you forward and to create a world that your child can live in.

Because we aren’t their yet. But maybe someday we will be.

It starts with us as parents.

Creating a world for these little humans. A world of equality and fairness and acceptance.

Bravery and fear. And love. All mixed together.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.