A Life Meant Just for Us
A few days ago, I was watching a fellow special needs mom story on Instagram.
Like most day’s she was giving a real insight on what it’s like to raise multiple kiddos on the Autism spectrum.
She was asked what would be her advice to the parent of a child who was recently diagnosed.
What she said next about grief was not what I was expecting, but it stuck with me.
She said, if we are being truly honest with ourselves, we are not grieving the life our child may never have, we are grieving the life we felt entitled to.
She knows that was never meant to have a typical life.
Once she accepted this is the life she was given, she acknowledged that no one took anything from her.
As I closed the app, tears immediately started to flood my face.
I knew she was right.
You see my son Kanen is 3 and was diagnosed on the spectrum last fall.
Since his diagnosis I’ve been stuck in the thick of grief.
I couldn’t understand why.
Why I was chosen for this life?
Why my son?
Why us?
Why Autism?
I couldn’t come to terms with it, and if we’re being honest, a lot of the times I didn’t want to.
I felt I was entitled to a typical life. Entitled to all the things in parenthood that we most look forward too.
Graduation, college, marriage, grandkids.
I felt like I was being punished. I felt like I was being robbed of life’s “best” moments.
But I’m not. They just weren’t meant for me.
This life with my son, Kanen is.
Written by, Samira Soto
I’m Samira, I’m a 25 year old single mom to my 2.5 year old son Kanen Arley. I am born and raised in Santa Barbara, CA and love more then anything raising him in my small beach town surrounded by the best friends and family. Kanen was diagnosed with severe non-verbal autism in September of 2020, which inspired me to start sharing our journey through My Charming Arley on Facebook and Samirasstella on Instagram. He is by far the most humorous, charismatic and charming little boy. I’m truly the luckiest woman to be his Mama.
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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
