Each Child is Uniquely Made

kate 16

I think one of the most important lessons I’ve learned over my 10 years of motherhood is that every child is different.

There is no norm really. Or perfect mold.

Each one is uniquely made.

What makes one tick does not necessarily work for the other.

And your children can be like you or entirely different. Or have bits and pieces of you. Maybe even your most challenging traits. So it almost feels like you are parenting a mini version of your naughty self. That’s fun.

My three boys range from 10 to 2. They all have the same lips. And cheeks.

They all hate wearing clothes at night and act like eating a meal is pure torture.

And yet one loves sports and climbing trees. One adores the characters in his favorite tv shows. And one will do art with me anytime I ask.

The older one is motivated by high fives and praise. The middle one seemingly can’t be motivated. It’s a problem. And the younger one…well…I don’t know yet. He loves excitement and being included. That seems to work for now.

One climbs every slide at the park. One goes down like he should. And the older one he prefers to grab a quiet spot on a bench to observe. He’s not one to run in join in. While the little one, he walks up to kids fearlessly.

And after ten minutes my oldest typically has enough chaos and grabs his blankets and iPad and snuggles up in the car. Which is perfectly fine with me.

It used to confuse me. How he could be so different from the rest. But not anymore. He is being himself and trying to change that will get me nowhere.

There is no right. Or wrong. Just unique.

These three. Made from the same mold and yet entirely different.

I think it’s so important to not judge because as parents, we are doing our best to figure these kids out, just as they are trying to figure themselves out.

Last photo as a boy mom, mom of three. Baby girl will be here soon!

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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