Our First Christmas After Diagnosis

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I found myself eating some humble pie last night, or maybe grateful pie.

That sounds stupid. Things were put into perspective.

I was catching up on my Cooper’s Voice reading–something I only do on hard days–and yesterday was a HARD day.

Christmas was a disaster!

Maddox had stayed up all night, and by the time everyone was awake to open presents, he was just about ready to fall asleep.

We tried anyway. Twenty minutes in and we ended up with a 2-3 hour meltdown, then a 5 hour sleep; the most I’ve gotten in days.

It felt like I missed Christmas and ruined Maddox’s.

I wallowed in self-pity and did a lot of ugly crying.

Until I came across an article by Kate, Cooper’s mom, how she’s waiting for him to say “mom,” to say “I love you;” and then another about how we need to celebrate our kids’ triumphs, no matter how age “inappropriate” they are, because they deserve it, and so do we.

This time last year Maddox was silent.

He didn’t start talking again until March, and the words came slow, few and far between, memorized and repeated phrases, echolalia.

Last year, most days I got woken by my face being peed on. No matter how hard I tried, I could NOT keep a diaper on him, and my entire house–life really–was covered in pee.

It felt like it would never end, and didn’t until February!

His struggles with clothes have come a very long way in the last year. 

Despite Christmas being a mess, December has been a very good month for us.

Maddox’s sensory issues started affecting his physical health, which meant more tests, more appointments, more anxiety, but we found out he’s a-okay.

He went to his school’s Christmas party; very loud and very crowded, and had a great time!

This month, he made it through an entire day of school successfully. On another day, he was very brave and tried carrots, oranges, and salsa.

He’s mostly potty trained…within one month!

He labels like a champ, but has recently started calling me mommy! And daddy, which is even better; he’s aware I pull double duty.

A few months ago I wasn’t sure he was aware I was in the same room half the time.

His awareness to the world around has doubled, seemingly over night.

He uses “no” fairly functionally. With visual reinforcers, he can tell you what his favorite animals say if you ask him.

He’s never answered a question before, and this to me has been monumental!

He points occasionally, and with the power of Peppa Pig, he pointed 3 times yesterday!

We ended the day on a good note.

While Maddox and I slept the day away, my mom and sister unwrapped and set up all of his new toys, batteries and all.

When the cousins and aunt and uncle had gone to sleep, Grandma and Grandpa and I brought him back to the now very quiet Christmas room, most of the lights dimmed and no one crowding him, he had a great time.

He loved his presents, ate candy canes, drank root beer, and sang a lot of jingle bells.

Christmas was saved.

Written by, Ashley Brown

Ashley is a former teen, single mom, who is the only parent to a very active, sweet, wild guy named Maddox. Her instagram is @mamajetnebula

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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