I had Expectations

I read a quote today on Pinterest while I was hiding in the bathroom for five minutes listening to the chaos of my life outside the door.

Babies crying. Kids arguing. Jamie babbling about how I have too many shoes. You know. Life.

The quote said something like…sometimes we create our own heartbreak through expectation.

Now if that ain’t just the honest to God truth.

Expectations. We all have them. We all set them. With adulthood, marriage, parenting, holidays, even our careers.

We have them because we are human. I know I did. And still do.

I expected a lot of typical things with my firstborn.

Some tell me I shouldn’t have done that. But, well, I’m no saint. And because I didn’t know that anything different than what I expected was possible.

But really, my expectations weren’t crazy. Honestly, they seem pretty basic when I say them out loud.

I expected my son to play games with me.

I expected my son to talk with me.

I expected my son to go to school.

I expected my son to interact with the world around him.

I expected us to be able to travel and go to his brother’s hockey games and out to eat and anywhere else families go.

I expected him to grow up, get his license, graduate, move out, and so on.

But here’s the deal. Something else happened. What I expected didn’t happen. And it hit me like a dang freight truck.

Yup. Me. This girl.

But then, the fog cleared. Like it always does. Because time heals.

And expectations change.

We grow. We accept. We start to see what really matters. What’s really important.

Tonight, I watched my husband write numbers for our son. 1, 2, 3 and so on. This is one of our activities. Cooper’s favorite.

Cooper cheered and gasped at each number. Jamie tickled and teased. They sang together. Cooper even danced. And screamed…’MM—OOO—MM’ to get my attention when dad wrote 33.

See, he loves 3’s. 3’s are his favorite. Do I know why? Nope. No clue.

After, we sat by each other on the couch. I told him about his birthday party in a few weeks.

I asked him if he wanted presents, balloons, decorations, grandma and friends. He grunted yes.

And then he made the difficult decision between cake and cupcakes by pointing to a picture.

He was torn, but clapped in delight at his choice.

I never expected this. Not in my wildest dreams. But you know what…I am one lucky mama.

Cooper is exactly who he is supposed to be. And I’ll never expect any different.

Don’t beat yourself up for having expectations. You are human. But also, don’t get stuck on them.

Because you’ll miss the beauty in the number 33, and cupcakes and dancing.

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Finding Cooper's Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you're never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village....all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to my page!

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