I Can’t Ever Die

I’m not sad about our lives.

It’s never been sadness. Its been sheer terror. I have been terrified.

What will his life be? We are so close to adulthood.

What am I suppose to do now?

Do the angry autism advocates online realize the thoughts running in my head?

The ones where I can’t ever die because I have a child who will never live independently?

Do they plan on picking him up and caring for him when I am 80?

No, I’m not a “martyr mom”.

I’m a terrified one and the group where I should feel comfort rejects me simply based on their own bad experiences or because what I represent to them.

I’m told to listen to autistic voices and when I have quoted ones, I have been shut down and told it’s the wrong ones.

So, there are cliques in a clique?

How is navigating all that ever going to help my son?

I simply do not have the time nor the energy anymore.

There is only one autistic voice I will listen to and it’s my son’s. That’s it.

Written by, Eileen “Mama Fry” Shaklee

Autism is a trip I didn’t plan on, but I sure do love my tour guide. It’s better to laugh than to cry, mainly because I got distracted by the free samples at Costco and forgot to buy tissues. So, come join this one mom’s adventure with a side of sarcasm (and fries) on my blog, Autism With a Side of Fries or on Facebook and Twitter.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Finding Cooper's Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you're never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village....all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to my page!

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