This Year I Wish…
To my son Prestley, In 2019 I would like…
To feel less guilt
I have an overwhelming sense of guilt. I feel guilty because Prestley doesn’t play – is he happy? Does he know how loved he is?
I feel guilty about my other children. We don’t go out altogether, we don’t do many fun things – do they resent their brother?
The guilt of medicating Prestley with melatonin – so he can sleep. So we can all sleep.
So much guilt swarms my mind. Daily.
To find others in the same boat
There aren’t any groups, any clubs – anywhere I can go to with Prestley. I want to see other families like us.
I want to go somewhere Prestley can be himself, where I don’t have to worry. I don’t want to feel so alone in this journey.
For friends to understand
Recently, my two best friends who know everything and I truly thought they “got it” – really surprised me…
I was explaining how Prestley was really struggling with Christmas and they said “can’t you just explain it to him?”
I was so taken aback. They have a son the same age, they could easily explain this to him… but I thought they knew I couldn’t. I thought they listened..
I thought they understood.
For your hoarding to reduce
Constant piles of his precious things. Stuff everywhere.
So many tears are shed when I put them away, so I leave them be… but It stresses the whole family.
His piles of “stuff” is often really random. He loves cards, coasters, photos, photo frames, spray bottles (cleaning ones!) leaflets, bottles etc.
It makes him so happy, yet it can wear you down.
These are our goals for 2019 Prestley. We can do this.
Written by, Melissa Rishworth
I am the mother to four children. 1 girl and 3 boys. They are aged 9, 5, 3 and 1. I have 2 on the spectrum (the 9 & 3 year old) and the 5 year old has sensory issues and mild autistic traits (no diagnosis). My two children with ASD were diagnosed at age 2. I am writing this based on my son, Prestley. He is 3 and a half. He is severely autistic, none verbal and has global development delay.
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