What Being Your Mama is Like

You know the thrill of going down a roller coaster?

You’re incredibly terrified, gripping the sides, white knuckles and all. You can’t even seem to breathe.

You’re dizzy, and everything is a blur. It’s so loud you can’t hear a thing. You just know you’re about to be sick.

Your hair is in your face and your stomach is in your throat.

“What am I going to do?” you ask.

You feel completely out of control, like wherever this things takes me, that’s where I’m going.

You just have to believe you’ll get there.

And for a split second, you’re wishing you hadn’t gotten on. One minute you want to laugh, and one minute you want to cry. You’re not so sure how you should feel.

You feel jarred, rattled, tired from screaming, inwardly, outwardly…it all starts to bleed together.

Each second lasts an hour.

But then you let go and let God. You turn a corner, peel open your eyes, and raise your hands up.

You follow the course until you finally come to a stop. You get off and look back at your seat and say, “Did I really just do that?” You look at the friend who rode beside you. “Did we really just do that?”

And you laugh…you catch your breath. You check all your limbs and realize you’re alive.

You had truly lived. You let go, relinquished control, and had the time of your life.

You come to the conclusion that sometimes being vulnerable is okay. Sometimes losing control and screaming at the top of your lungs is okay. Sometimes losing your senses is okay. Sometimes getting out of your cushy comfort zone is okay. Sometimes asking someone to ride with you and hold your hand is okay.

And before you know it, you realize life is one big paradox. You feel brave in your vulnerability, strong in your weakness, proud in your humility.

Before you know it, you’re not so scared anymore.

Before you know it, you want to ride again.

That’s what being your mama is like, little boy.

Written by, Mallory Hood

Mallory Hood is a Southern English teacher who loves running, dresses, and carbs. She has been married to her husband, Heath, for ten years. They have two blond-headed kiddos, Isaac and Caroline. You can read more from her on her blog, Count It All Joy. 

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