Just Be Patient Mama. It Will Get Better.

1979485_798102370219891_1468501732_nI mentioned yesterday that my whole family is sick with a cold….including one of our dogs. I think our house should be quarantined at this point. The boys stayed home from daycare with Jamie and he text me around 10 that something ‘questionable’ was draining out of Cooper’s right ear.

First, I am not surprised. He has been acting like a lunatic lately. I wish he could just tell us when something hurts. I hate the thought that he is in pain and I don’t know it.

Second, what next?

And third, please, pretty please let his tubes still be in his ears.

We arrived at the doctor with two kids in tow. We have been putting off Cooper’s well child visit because he is such a beast at the doctor.

The waiting room went ‘well’ behavior wise. I sat and filled out the 3 year old questionnaire. That part was sad. No other word to describe it. Every question was pretty much ‘no’. No, he isn’t talking in 3-4 word sentences. No, he isn’t cutting with scissors. No, he doesn’t understand waiting in line or taking turns. Thankfully, it could have been worse. Yes, he does jump. Yes, he does alternate walking up steps. Yes, he understands questions and follows directions. So, while sad, I’ll call this one a minor victory. 3 months ago this would have been a lot worse.

When the nurse called our name Cooper went into meltdown city. Gosh this kid is scared of the doctor. We had a meltdown during his temperature but he was great during weight and height. Another victory. We skipped vision and hearing test. Sigh. Let’s not even try.

One funny point was when the nurse asked us to describe any stressors in our home. In unison, Jamie and I answered, ‘only Cooper.’ All three of us laughed out loud. Great minds think alike!

Cooper is very afraid of his doctor. At least he was one year ago. Let me add that she is 90 pounds soaking wet and the sweetest, calmest lady in the world. Cooper has been known to see her and RUN the other way screaming like a lunatic. All of the nurses have a good laugh about it.

photo 3When his Dr. came in he greeted her and ‘chatted’ with her about the computer. She brought him a Thomas book so that was a huge score. And just like that he loved her. He put the book on her lap and laughed and pointed. Pretty cute.

He did kick and scream while she looked in his ears. He has a BAD ear infection in his right ear. She couldn’t see the tube through the infection so we are going to start with an ear drop and hope that works. She let him pick out a Cars sticker and sucker. Double score. He was pretty dang happy at this point.

After the ear stuff we chatted for a long time. We talked all about Cooper’s delays and his challenges.  It was really nice to have someone to talk too. She was amazing. She listened and made suggestions.

We told her that he was evaluated by the psychologist and his social skills are too advanced to place him on the spectrum. And she completely agreed. That was really nice to hear. She made comments about his social skills, his eye contact, etc. She was really impressed with that. She agreed that she didn’t see any autistic behaviors in his social skills. Besides his language delays he seems like a typical ‘challenging’ little boy. And she felt that most, if not all, of his challenges seem to be related to his lack of communication.

All in all, she didn’t seem that worried. WHAT?!?! Don’t get me wrong, that’s what every mom wants to hear but they also aren’t living the day-to-day. She mentioned that we ‘could’ get genetic testing but she doesn’t think it will tell us anything. She doesn’t see any markers and Cooper’s symptoms don’t point to any genetic issues. She also said we ‘could’ see a developmental pediatrician but she doesn’t see anything that could be diagnosed. Her main advice was to be patient and to give it time.

So, on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the worst ever (Cooper one year ago), this appointment was a 5. V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! No answers but also not a lot of negatives either. We are slowly coming along.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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5 Comments

  1. HighFunctioningMomism on March 5, 2014 at 4:07 am

    Sometimes, the hang up on the diagnosis can be such a hinder acne to progress! I hated the a- word. I would’ve picked almost anything else. Finn is social (in most situations); Finn makes eye contact (most of the time). You’d really need the ADOS test to tell you if he’s really on the spectrum. But, really what does that amount to? It’s just an umbrella term for a myriad of challenges. What it does get you is a new perspective and some help (via therapies, etc). Every kid is so different. Autism is such a different disorder on so many different kids. I hope that you are able to find some peace with the struggles. Like I said on my blog, please email me if you want to chat. I’m enjoying reading about Cooper!



    • Avatar photo findingcoopersvoice on March 7, 2014 at 7:13 pm

      Such a great comment. You are right on in my book. I am so glad I found your blog!



  2. journey2dfuture on March 5, 2014 at 6:54 am

    What a great appointment. I hope his ear infection clear up quickly. I always think there is so much more stress when there is lack of communication. Does Copper sign at all ? As for the motor skills, Practice makes perfect right.. All in good time. Don’t beat yourself up. This doctor was so positive stay on that road.,



  3. jomo86 on March 5, 2014 at 1:04 pm

    I feel for you. I know this is a difficult journey!

    The GAPS book has a chapter about ear infections. She explains how and why it happens so much in children with conditions like ours. It is ALL very much connected, and can all be healed. The biggest recourse for all these related conditions is a diet low in sugars and processed foods—alongside the use of strong probiotics. Bacteria loves sugar! I’d be happy to answer any questions you have, but you have got to read this book!



  4. April Ignacio on March 30, 2017 at 11:59 pm

    I sometimes feel it’s a hit or miss when it comes to finding someone you could let it all out and whine with complete abandon not thinking about what the other person might think or feel or whatever but just release everything. I sometimes get this from the most unexpected people, I am happy you found a person like that on this day.
    much love
    a