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A True Fighter: A Caregivers Need for Self-Care
Self-Care You’ve probably heard a lot about the importance of it lately. It is important for everyone to do this, not to mention necessary. This is especially true for those of us who are caregivers. Many caregivers are what we call forever parents. This means that we have a child that requires constant care and assistance. I will also be the first to tell you that I have not been very good about this myself. For starters, I was a single mom for many years. I went to school full-time…
Read MoreAutism Awareness is Important
When I take my son out into the community he wears his headphones and people always attempt to speak with him. In those moments, I have a choice to make . . . to just go with it or to tell them that my son is autistic and non-speaking. I’m not going to lie, sometimes it is draining to explain to people over and over that my son is amazing and autistic. Sometimes I’m tempted to just go the easy route. Sometimes when he doesn’t respond and they say, “he…
Read MoreMy Non-speaking Son Is More
No one has the right to limit or devalue another person. I’ve been thinking about this so much lately. Sometimes I wonder if people realize that they are doing this through their actions, words, and (mis)treatment of others. Sometimes when people learn that my son Stalen is non-speaking, they immediately count him out, ignore him or underestimate him. It’s as if they think the world revolves around being able to speak but that’s simply not the case. Worth is not determined by spoken words. Stalen may be non-speaking but he…
Read MoreAutism Is Autism and Your Words Can Hurt
Comments are made; often in the passing, sometimes with direction. I wonder how deeply some people think about what they say to others. Do they consider if they use hurtful words? I’ve been so fortunate during my journey thus far into motherhood. I have received so much support for the way our children are growing. Sometimes, the narrative changes direction. Sometimes, people are surprised to discover autism is a part of our world. It puzzles me. Honestly, with a little knowledge, it is blatantly obvious how neurodivergence is interwoven around…
Read MoreThank You to the Waitress Who Understood Inclusion
We tried a thing today. It was one of our spur of the moment ideas. My autistic son, Xavier, had gotten up at four again, and to be honest, after we dropped off his younger brother at school, we were all hungry and in need of a caffeine fix. Xavier’s Occupational Therapy appointment had been canceled due to a training his therapist was attending, so we had over an hour to kill. There is a diner that my husband and I both love, and hadn’t been to in a couple…
Read MoreWhen There Is No Silent Night
“Silent night, Holy night. All is calm, all is bright…” the familiar, beloved carol that ironically swims around the depths of my mind circa 3am during the holiday season. It is ironic because not all is silent, calm, or bright. Did you know up to 80% of autistic individuals struggle with sleep? For Olivia, it is a lack of sleep that causes the struggle. Since she was 4 months old, Olivia has fled challenges learning to fall and stay asleep. I really do understand the concept that we are all…
Read MoreAutism After 40: “Where Did That Come From?”
Dad here. Big Dude is a perpetual three-year-old but many times we see him mature and show a different side of himself that makes Mom and me scratch our heads and ask rhetorically, “Where did that come from?” One such ritual is Big Dude’s insistence that I am fully dressed for the day from the moment we greet each other. Big Dude picks out my shirt. There are several that are his favorites. He chooses my trousers, shoes, and socks. If I am standing he will often push me gently…
Read MoreLove is Always Greater, Than Hard
My son Stalen is seven, autistic and non-speaking. He was diagnosed when he was 21 months old. He has a feeding tube and an ileostomy. I’m sharing my hard here as a parent to a child with complex needs but I know that it is hardest of all on him. He lives it every single day. HARD. It’s one word that brings about so many judgments. It highlights the challenges, struggles and encompasses all the feelings. From the moment I stepped foot in the autism world with my son I…
Read MoreThe Measurement of Milestones
Measurement – it’s a natural human instinct. We measure time, distance, capacity, success, and achievement. Many forms of measurement I understand; time and distance for example facilitate civilizations’ successful functioning. There are however some forms of measurement that lack the same definition and purpose. Parents worldwide often over analyze a measurement: the measurement of milestones. From the moment you become a parent other, often well intentioned, people question you with regards to your child’s development. Your email inbox highlights notifications of what abilities your growing baby should have. Mothers’ groups…
Read MoreA Match is Made
A week ago, my younger son started playing soccer. My daughter took him to his first practice because I was sick. As I perused the pictures she sent me, it was obvious how much he enjoyed playing. My daughter barely saw him the entire hour he played because he was running around so much. He was having a blast with his new buddy. This soccer program is a program for children with special needs. My younger son has ADHD. His ADHD causes him to have a difficult time paying attention…
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