Communication can be so Beautiful

A beautiful moment to share with you… This morning, when I came out of my bedroom, far earlier than I would have liked, I knew my Cooper was waiting on the stairs for me. For one I could hear train whistles and happy music. And secondly, lately, he’s been waiting for me more. Near, but far. Not close enough to touch, but easily heard and seen if I peek around a corner or under a table. He gasped as he usuallly does when it’s been a period of time since…

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We Always Come Home to Each Other

Back when my son was diagnosed with autism, what now feels like a lifetime ago, I used to hyper fixate on certain things. Things I hoped he would do. Things I was scared would never happen. Goals. Dreams. Fears. I used to be so scared I’d never get grandchildren. Crazy right? I mean he was 4 years old and I was thinking about being a grandma. Or his graduation. Would we have one? Would he ever drive? Go to prom? Have a first kiss? Heartbreak? All I can say is…

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Different is Amazing

Parent: I wish my autistic child could talk to me. Parent: I wish my child with autism could communicate with me. Parent: I wish I knew what my nonverbal child was thinking. Parent: I wish I knew what my child loved. Child: Listen and I will show you in the most mysterious ways. Be prepared to wait. And to listen to more than just words. My son Cooper takes photos with his iPad. Hundreds and hundreds a day. I know because the iPad is linked to my iPhone and every…

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Always Answer the Phone

‘Dad! Is everything alright?’ That’s what I said when ‘Dad Cell’ flashed on my phone this afternoon. I half expected it to be someone else. A relative. A nurse. Someone telling me something happened. My stomach felt sick as I waited the few seconds for a voice to respond. ‘Katie. Did you catch the game yesterday?’ I gasped. See my dad hasn’t called me in a really long time. He used to call me weekly and then he had a stroke and it changed him. It changed the way he…

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He Taught Me How to Truly Listen

A few days ago I was driving myself and my three sons home from my mom’s house in Wisconsin. We had just celebrated Christmas and my SUV was packed to the brim with toys, leftovers, and love. The sky was dark as I navigated the backroads I’ve driven home for 30-some years. I remember being a little girl and dozing as my parent’s car bounced over the same bumpy roads. Only this time I was the parent, and I had two sleeping boys in the seat behind me, and one…

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A Love that People Dream Of

Last night, Sawyer had a tough time. He was overtired and overstimulated and the day just got too long for him. Christmas can be hard for little ones. When he gets like that, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Instead of going to bed, he sat angrily in his room and yelled at anyone who dared to enter. It’s best to just let him cool off. Cooper was so confused as to why his brother wasn’t coming to bed with him though. He doesn’t understand Sawyer’s complicated emotions…

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A Colorful Christmas

When I share about my son’s autism’s, my hope is that I share the endearing parts with the world. The humor and the joy. The innocence and the determination. Because autism isn’t a dirty word. Not in this house. There are so many amazing parts that make him…him. For example… Last night I dressed all three boys in their matching Christmas jammies. An hour later, only two were wearing them. Cooper’s were off. This morning as I searched for them, I had to laugh. They were gone. Like gone-gone. I…

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The Best Thing About Christmas

I can say with absolute certainty that the best thing about Christmas is the children. This morning, this one wandered in my room, ready to start his day. He gasped when he saw the wrapped gifts stacked up in the corner. As his dad attempted to pull him into our bed so we could sneak a few more moments of sleep, he said… ‘Wait dad! I just want to stare at the presents for a while!’ And he did. He just stared. It’s the best. Being a parent on Christmas.…

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Who Needs Words?

I check on my three boys every single night before I go to bed. I make sure they are breathing and covered up and safe. I’m pretty sure every mom does that. I even sometimes wonder at what age I will stop doing so… Anyhow, last night, I was positive this one was sound asleep as I bent down to kiss his perfect cheeks. As my lips made contact, he opened both eyes, but didn’t make a sound. What he did do was lift up his hand and wave his…

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Age is Just a Number

As we age, our interests change. They evolve. They grow with us. But what if they don’t? What if they stay the same year after year? In the real world, they call it age appropriate. It means teenagers shouldn’t be watching Barney or adults shouldn’t be believing in Santa. Someone once told me to turn off the cartoons and put on the National Geographic channel. I still laugh about that. They thought parents like me should be forcing interests. My son is 11. He’s amazing. And he loves Peppa, Barney,…

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