Archive for June 2021
You are Our Hero
Young love, there’s nothing like it. You live in this bubble of hope. You make plans for the future and wonder about what your life together will bring. You dream about where you will live, how many children you will have, what vacations you will take. You look forward to a happy life together. Especially being so young and naive you are not imagining all the heartbreak and loss you will have to go through. It’s a part of life and how you cope and support each other as a couple…
Read MoreDon’t Think of Me and My Autistic Son with Sadness
I may never be in the stands cheering as my son skates down the ice with the puck. But, I feel the same pride, every time I watch him make progress and acquire skills. My son Stalen is autistic. He was diagnosed when he was 21 months old. He is 6 and non-speaking. Every time he says a new word or tries a new food, it is like the last minute of the third period, the game is tied and he’s on a break away, headed down the ice at…
Read MoreI am Human
“Can you tell me why you’re crying?” Andy asked softly, his face wrought with concern. “I’m just upset about Leo’s session this morning,” I began. This particular remote learning session, intensely challenging for my boy, and in turn, for me, as I attempted to navigate the resulting behaviors. “I’ve been thinking about it all day,” I explained..“Wondering what I could have done to prevent his upset, or at least minimize it before it escalated…” Andy listened calmly. Pausing for a moment before responding.. “It’s okay to be upset about this…
Read MoreMy Fears are Different
Parents have many fears for their children as they grow up…but as a special needs mother, my fears are so different than most. It’s difficult to put into words. So here I go…. It’s hard not to have tears roll down your face at night when everyone is asleep..when you look at your child so perfect, who is sound asleep, just thinking how much you love them. You lay there and think about everything. You can’t turn off your thoughts and fears. It’s hard to relax and take a deep…
Read MoreA Life Meant Just for Us
A few days ago, I was watching a fellow special needs mom story on Instagram. Like most day’s she was giving a real insight on what it’s like to raise multiple kiddos on the Autism spectrum. She was asked what would be her advice to the parent of a child who was recently diagnosed. What she said next about grief was not what I was expecting, but it stuck with me. She said, if we are being truly honest with ourselves, we are not grieving the life our child may…
Read MoreBeing a Light for Others
This newspaper article has been hanging on my fridge since my son E was five years old. And it will stay there forever. It is the fourth interview I did with our local newspaper and has my favorite title: “Autism doesn’t change children’s core”. This aged paper, changing with time, is part of us. We age and change along with it. To me it is a reminder of where we were and how far we have come from the darkest times of our Autism journey. The times of loneliness and…
Read MoreA Glimpse Into the Non-Speaking World
My son is nonverbal. Although I’m not supposed to use that term anymore. The preferred term is ‘non-speaking.’ I am tired of arguing about descriptions so I will just explain. I think it’s easier that way. My son is ten years old. And he has no actual words. It’s hard to believe but it’s important to understand. It’s important to take a glimpse into someone’s life sometimes. That’s how we learn. He can say his name if asked. Cooper. He makes a sound for each letter. Six sounds. The two…
Read MoreHe Gets Different and More
Sawyer, my eight year old, is the sweetest older brother. He holds his sister, he kisses her every morning, before bed, and when he leaves the house. He counted down the days until she got here. He asked me all the questions, like how she got in there and how she was going to come out. He was fascinated by her belly button and her blonde hair. He loves being a brother. And as we’ve completed our family of six, I’ve spent some time thinking about how different life would…
Read MoreThe Baby Phase
My baby is two weeks old today. As of 12:22 pm she has been apart of this family for 14 whole days. Which means 14 days ago I was pregnant. I was swollen, crabby, achey, and had the worst heartburn I had ever felt. Right up until delivery I felt the burning in my throat. I knew she’d have hair because of it. But I didn’t know it would be so blonde. I thought I prepared for everything leading up to her arrival. I mean, it was my fourth time.…
Read MoreI Wish I Could Have Told You
I think about you sometimes mama. 28 years old. You just had your first baby. You named him Cooper months before he was born. You painted his nursery blue. You went to birthing classes and read What To Expect When You Are Expecting. Your husband bought him a baseball glove and bat. And a Minnesota Wild jersey. You were both so ready for him. I can see you going to the hospital. So excited. So scared. I can see you holding him in your arms for the first time. You…
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