A Different Time

There is a generation that had the knowledge they were given.

The knowledge that our generation disagrees with.

Now let’s turn back the clock…

When Avery was undiagnosed, but old enough to where we couldn’t fake it anymore.

We couldn’t play it off that he was still in an extension of terrible two’s.

We were in that part of our journey where he was different then all the other kids his age, but still not old enough to receive any help.

He just received help and support with what he needed, and at the time, was a lot now that I look back.

See, Avery would barely eat or sleep. And don’t get me started on what outings looked like.

Now during this time of our life, I had not really found my voice yet

I was not advocating publicly.

I was the sad mom. I was in the grey place. I was a hot mess.

I saw my son’s entire life flash before my eyes.

Hopes,, dreams and all of the plans disappeared.

If anyone said anything to me about special needs or delays in his abilities, I was crushed to my core.

You can say I was not adjusting well with the start of our journey.

As Avery grew up, outings became more difficult.

Not only for him, but also me.

Every time we left the house I was prepared for the worst and ready to always come home fully defeated.

There was one week I can remember for some reason, the stars had lined up in our journey.

Avery was eating. Sleep was happening and all was happy. Oh how I spoke way too soon.

See I thought since everything was going well, we should go on an outing.

That day I learned that others do not see my son in the same light as I see him.

People say what they were taught. It does not make it right or okay.

“Get a hold on your little retarded boy, obviously a teen pregnancy tragedy.”

Now I could have yelled at that lady in the middle of the grocery store line.

But I practiced “the pause”.

I do not regret doing that. She is from a different time, I kept telling myself.

I rose above the name calling and did not go to her level. It is not my role in this world to yell at the older generation for what terminology they were taught.

When I say the majority of older people who talk like that will never change, it is because they never will.

They are from a different time where kids like mine were not included and were in institutions for their entire life.

My role is to educate those who are in my generation and come after me.

My role is to use my voice to let this generation know our kids are unique, wonderful and full of joy.

I use my voice to make a better world for this generation and anyone after.

Knowledge is power my friends and the generation I am glad my son was never in, was the one that believes my son is and always will be less than.

Written by, Katie Emde

Hey friends, I am Katie Emde. I live in Saskatchewan with my husband and three beautiful kids. My oldest son Avery was diagnosed with severe non verbal autism. Our daughter Natalie is learning so much while we do homeschooling this year. Our youngest son Jackson is only four years old and loves everything dinosaur. When me and my husband were getting Avery diagnosed and all the supports he needed when he was younger. We had found everything to be extremely overwhelming. I started advocating provincially for hundreds of families all over the province. I am on numerous IEP’s with various schools. I have done numerous fundraisers and supported various non profits over the years. I help families navigate everything autism in Saskatchewan. I found my voice when we struggled and now I use my voice for the many. I share our life on Facebook at A Journey With Avery and on Instagram at katieemde.

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