Shatter The Nevers
Early this morning, my son, Finn grabbed a k-cup from our pantry.
It was hazelnut…my favorite, the kind he has seen me make myself endless mornings as I drag my sleep-deprived body to the Keurig machine.
I just watched.
Sometimes that’s what I do. I like to see what my six year old autistic son will do when I don’t say a word or get involved.
He then preceded towards the cupboard to pull out his Sonic the Hedgehog coffee mug.
“This will be perfect for coffee” he said gleefully as he carried it to the machine.
I stood close, for safety purposes as I watched him turn it on, wait for the buttons to turn blue and pick the perfect cup size.
We watched the caffeine goodness pour into the mug as he waited so patiently.
I helped pull it out of the machine stand and carefully set it on the counter because I didn’t want him to spill it on himself, it was extremely hot.
He then ripped Splenda packets and with one nail tried so desperately to pull apart the two open edges on top.
He poured them perfectly into my coffee.
Then he walked to the refrigerator, and he poured my favorite sugar free coffee creamer into a play teapot.
He carried it over and successfully poured the white liquid into the cup.
It was probably one of the best cups of coffee I’ve ever had.
It tasted perfect and it was made with love.
But more than that…
Overwhelming feelings of pride, joy and maybe even relief followed.
There was a time they told me my son “would never” well…too many things really.
So I made a list.
I decided to shatter the thoughts in my head that my son wouldn’t or couldn’t achieve some of these things.
I knew in my heart he was capable of more. And we worked hard together and practiced at home and in therapies, choosing one life skill and then another.
And one by one we have crossed things off over the past four years.
Communication…any kind. We slowly climbed from nonverbal, to signs, pecs, prompting for one word, then three words, to an entire sentence.
Now we have sentences..plural. And more language. Not full blown back and forth but we have made leaps and bounds.
He balances communication in many ways..telling us his wants and needs by writing words all over several pieces of paper, making lists, using a leapfrog tablet to type in.
More often than not, birthdays, balloons and cakes are on the list and places..all of the places. After listing several he will always say, “now you know where you need to go Mom”. It’s the cutest thing ever.
We even get words spelled out in play-doh.
He’s taught us that verbal isn’t the only way a person can share their thoughts and we let him choose the way he wants to say something. Just because he has words, doesn’t mean he always uses them. And that’s ok.
We started with no engagement after a massive regression. Our son was diagnosed severe.
Over the years we strived to simply interact..baby stepping all the way.
Side by side play.
Imitation.
Pretend play.
Every day I’m in awe of all that he has accomplished so far.
Go to the bathroom.
Dress himself.
Put on shoes.
Pack a lunch and his backpack.
He can do all of those things. He can even read and write.
As special needs parents, some of our fears are born out of worry for the future, what will become of our children should we leave them.
Independence.
Life skills.
Safety.
Every day I see him grow and learn. I know that his future is unwritten.
I am now certain that a doctor, teacher or pile of paperwork doesn’t define what he can or will do.
And now I’ll cross another thing off.
I shall worry no more about whether he could make himself or someone else a cup of coffee.
Looks like he’s got it covered. Keep going Baby Bird.
Shatter the nevers.
Written by, Sheryl St.Aubin
My name is Sheryl St. Aubin. My family resides in sunny, Florida. I have been married to my husband, Matt for fourteen years and I’m a Mama Bird to three beautiful, socially unique, children. While juggling this crazy life, I homeschool my youngest son (although I’m the one learning from him), and blog/write at Three Little Birds-Raising Kids On The Autism Spectrum (FB). I attempt to be a tour guide for other parents by sharing our story and trying to raise awareness for our community. My writing has been featured on Finding Cooper’s Voice, Filter Free Parents, Her View From Home and Love What Matters. You can follow our journey on Instagram: threelittlebirds321 or on Facebook at Three Little Birds – Raising Kids on the Autism Spectrum.
Interested in writing for Finding Cooper’s Voice? LEARN MORE
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
