There’s Always Tomorrow

Yesterday your sister and I strolled down to our beautiful lake. There were children splashing in the water, the sun was beaming upon their faces, and the view was magnificent. 

I went into our community shed, retrieved some toys, and plopped on a beach chair with my toes in the sand excited to be outside in the fresh air. Your sister dove into the water and started swimming like a fish. She was eager to interact with the other children, though she was cautious.  

For a few hours I watched your sister make beautiful childhood memories. Her laughter fed my soul and I felt so happy. I missed you, Daddy, and your baby sister, but we’ve learned that sometimes it’s better to split up. So that is what we do, because that is what is best for our family. 

Today it was your turn. You were excited, but anxious. The things that bring you the most joy also tend to cause you the most stress. It’s one of the most challenging parts of our lives and I am still trying to figure it all out. 

You ran upstairs to change into your swimsuit and came down with a twinkle in your eye. Today is your day and you knew it. You are happy. 

We stroll down the street, and you slowly grab my hand, like you do when you are walking over rocky surfaces. You tell me how excited you are to swim, and we start to turn down the hill.

You suddenly see other people swimming and your smile changes quickly. “I didn’t think anyone else would be here,” you said. 

That familiar feeling in my stomach surfaced quickly as I was not mentally or physically prepared for a meltdown. I asked you if you still wanted to go swimming and we continued to walk. I stopped in the shed to retrieve some items, but this was not like yesterday. I was nervous and starting to sweat. 

As I came out of the shed, you sat on the floor, which is something you do when you’re frustrated. I tell you that I love you and offer to swim beside you. We eventually walk to the sand, but I see your face, and I have learned over time to trust my gut instincts. We may have just arrived, but it’s already time to go. 

We start to head home. My heart is heavy. I wanted today, with you, at the lake. We walk inside the house, and your tears flow. You keep talking and crying and I feel like what you really want to know is why something you were so excited to do has caused you so much anxiety. 

As you are sobbing, your baby sister walks over and starts to pat your back. She says, for the first time, “Calm.” You perk up, and hug her, and the world seems a little brighter for all of us. It was so powerful. 

At this moment, your Dad and I make eye contact and our eyes fill up. A tear falls. It represents some of our most challenging memories and this amazing child we love so much it hurts. 

The beauty in today being hard is that the next day might not be. I am eager to learn what you will teach me tomorrow. So, until then, I will hold you tight, snuggle you close, and keep you calm.  

Today may have not looked like what I hoped it would, but we will learn from this. We will grow. We will shape our future so that we can continue to make beautiful memories with you as our tour guide, sweet girl. 

And never forget, there’s always tomorrow.

Written by, Michele Fulton

Michele Fulton lives in Northern New Jersey with her hard-working husband, three equally amazing daughters, and adored puppy. She loves spreading positivity and hopes to create a kinder world by sharing her journey as a special needs mom.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Finding Cooper's Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you're never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village....all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to my page!

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