Teaching Kids Kindness

Before I had babies, and even when they were younger, I had preconceived notions of what I would teach them throughout their lives. I assumed how to walk. And talk. Throw a ball. Read and write. I assumed we’d practice riding a bike and hitting a baseball. Later on I’d teach them to drive a car and how to dress for an interview and tip at a restaurant. Tangible things. It’s funny now because yes, those things matter. A’s on tests matter. Making the team matters. But kindness matters too.…

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A Letter to My Little Brother

Hey brother, I’m hoping that someday I can say this all to you. But there is a chance that I might never be able to…I’m hoping that when you are older you will read this and understand. I know I confuse you. I’m so loud. I flap my arms. I don’t notice toys. Or play sports. Or like to leave our house. I don’t have any friends. Or really pay any attention to you either. I just like mom and dad. I don’t play like you. I have never ridden…

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What We Won’t Do For Our Kids

When I have kids they will never… Remember those thoughts? From before you had children of your own? I had them for sure. My two favorites were…I will never have dirty car seats because my babies will never eat in my car. And my kids will never have snotty noses. Of course I didn’t have one kid, let alone three at that time. I laugh at that now as I hand food back to a screaming child and clean goldfish pieces from my floor mats. And as I use my…

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Fathers and First-Borns

Jamie is often asked by dads of newly diagnosed boys…’was it hard not having the typical experiences with your first born?’ Jamie is so honest about it. So matter of fact with his answer. He doesn’t sugar coat it. Or dance around with his answers. He’ll talk about pitching baseballs with his own father. For hours and hours. Day after day. He will tell stories of jumping his bike, catching fish and camping. He will go on and on about his old man being his best friend for so many…

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When Vacationing Is “Brave”

‘You’re so brave for going on vacation without your kids. I could never do that as a mother.’ Hold up. Stop the train. What a thing to read at 3 am. That is what we call a backhanded compliment. I get them all the time. But this one, well, it struck a nerve. See, I did go on vacation. I abandoned my three sweet boys and husband to go to Disney for four blissful days. I pushed pause on my own work, canceled therapy appointments and organized what I could…

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He Said He Can’t Breathe, Mama

Last night, I was glued to the local news, when my son came paddling down the stairs in his pajamas. His hair was crazy messed and his skin tan from the sun already, even though it is still only May. It was 10:17 pm. He should have been sleeping. He knew that. I knew that. But he also knew that there was some sort of flashy light noise thingy keeping him awake. At least that is what he tried to convince me of. I was tired of bedtime negotiations and…

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It Started With Hope

My story, like most stories, started with hope. Sixteen years ago, hope welled inside of me like an eternal spring of flowers, butterflies, and sunshine. Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids and my second son has autism. His name is Jack. Ever since he was diagnosed nearly sixteen years ago, I hoped for many things. I hoped the doctor was wrong. I hoped he would outgrow it. Mostly, I hoped he would maybe sleep longer than an hour and say the word milk instead of screaming. Over…

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Somedays, It’s Hard to Find the Joy

“I wish my son was happy all the time like Bubba.” As I read those words, my heart instantly began to race. My stomach started twisting in knots. I’ve heard these words before. And although well intended, I couldn’t help but think to myself…Is that how people think he is ALL the time? If so, then I’m doing something wrong. I’d be doing a disservice to you, my family and the autism community if all I talked about was the positive. I created this space, this community, to inspire others…

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Autism as a Full Time Single Mom

My five year old son has autism. I am currently a full time single mom, who used to be a part time dog mom, and that about sums up my little world. We are a little over two years into the diagnosis and up until seven months ago, my son was considered nonverbal. He has made huge strides in so many areas, mostly in speech, and I am so, so, so grateful for the therapy and resources we have used to get us to where we are today. I don’t…

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What Autism Took From Me

It’s hard to write this — As I look at our wedding photo from 31 years ago, I almost don’t recognize the woman in the photo. I can’t help but think what autism took from me…from us. There were so many years I spent my nights sitting in front of my computer, trying to find a way to help our son. I lost count of how many hours I spent. I was going to help him even if it meant I lost you. I couldn’t do both and I hoped…

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