Archive for April 2020
Welcome to Our World
Welcome to our world. I have said that a lot lately. While the world has stopped in its tracks not much has changed in our world. This is our life. Isolation. I was thinking about it yesterday and, the special needs community is far more prepared for this. We have been preparing for this for years. We are isolated all the time. For years, the only time we left our home was for work school or therapy. We worked hard on leaving our home. There was a time when Kya…
Read MoreSometimes, We Argue
Hey buddy, I am sorry you heard Daddy and I argue tonight. I know it’s scary. But sometimes, people disagree. No, no one is getting a divorce. I promise. I have known your father since I was nineteen years old. Yes, that’s right, back in 1994. We went to the same college, but we actually met in a restaurant, where we both worked. It was the end of August, right before classes started. No, I don’t remember what I had for lunch that afternoon. No, I can’t remember what day…
Read MoreOwning Asperger’s
It was six years ago this summer that Asperger’s was first mentioned in regards to me; I was 20 years old. At first I thought people only knew if I told them; I’ve since found out that people often just figure it out and some have even known longer than I have. Since finding this out in 2012, I’ve been working through some negative emotions including embarrassment and anger and I think these have been exacerbated by a feeling that I have to keep this diagnosis a secret. Well, I…
Read MoreDo you Dream?
When you sleep.. Do you dream my beautiful boy? At nearly six years old, I still don’t know. Autism took your voice years ago and has left me guessing. If I ask..you can’t say. I’m not even sure if you understand what a dream is.. Although we know you’re incredibly smart. Comprehending by the minute, much more than we may think you do. I can imagine that lately, you may dream of being inside of bright and colorful cartoon lands with Mickey Mouse and trying to find the “Surprise Mouse-ka-tool.”…
Read MoreThe Year of Acceptance
I was headed to get my son Jd his favorite food at the food stop next door when I heard the older boy’s voice. It caught me off guard. I saw his dad next to him, paying for the delicious hotdog on a stick. This was our second time attempting to eat outside of our box as a family, since our son’s ear tubes were placed. Before his surgery this outing wasn’t even thinkable let alone doable. I vowed to myself that if Jd was actually able to hear that…
Read MoreGaining Perspective in my Life
Our lives are so narrow in experience. We understand most clearly the circumstances we are born into and the experiences we acquire over our lifetime. Yet there are so many variables that can shape our lives. Immigrant status, skin color, religion, socio-economic status, ethnicity, gender orientation, disability, addiction, abuse—we are shaped by these factors. Prior to being a mom, I identified as a middle class American Jewish woman. I experienced some religious discrimination in school which left me with a desire to explore diversity. I wanted to make room in my…
Read MoreThe Corner of the Waiting Room
Let me tell you all about how a corner in a waiting room became my home today. I took my son Gianni to therapy for a 1:45 appointment. We arrived at 1:30. When we arrived they said it wasn’t until 2. We are in the lobby. Gianni is acting insane. His body won’t stay in one place. He’s screaming the most highest pitched scream he can manage. It’s a very small waiting room. EVERYONE, and I mean everyone, is staring at us. I tell him to use his inside voice.…
Read MoreOur Dream Home
We moved this past spring. My husband and I found the perfect place. Five acres, off the road, down a long winding lane lined with trees, no neighbors, surrounded by nothing but farm fields. The property boasts a three car garage with a spare room on top. A barn that’s been gutted and restored, as well as a fish pond that is spring fed. The previous owners planted fruit trees- apples, pears, peaches, and cherries. Grapes hang from the vine, begging to be picked. It only gets better. The inside…
Read MoreCrumbs on the Counter
Hi. My name is Carrie. I am married to a man named Joe, and we have five kids. Our second son, Jack, is diagnosed with autism. Right now, we are a family attempting to get through a pandemic with as much grace, humor, and kindness as we can muster. This is harder than one might think. Today, I yelled about crumbs on the counter. You could hardly see them, these crumbs. Unless you squinted and tilted your head at a certain angle and the overhead lights were on full blast.…
Read MoreWhat Autism Has Taught Me
I never planned on having a child with a disability. I planned my education and career around helping others through things like this, never dreaming in my wildest dreams it would personally affect me. But…. I wouldn’t trade Jackson or his diagnosis for anything in this world. When you hear people who have children with disabilities say their child is their greatest teacher in life, believe them. They have this beautiful way of helping us see life for what it should be. Simple. Purposeful. Full of wonder and of lots…
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