I Will Not Miss my Son’s Life being Sad

There are a lot of things I allow on this page. Healthy debate for one. Constructive, respectful criticism for another. Why? Because that’s how we all learn. We only know what we know. And let’s be honest, most of us are living in parenting bubbles. I am not at an expert parenting level yet, even with three boys. But, there is one thing I do not allow. It’s pretty simple really. It’s criticizing the value of my child’s life. Or any other life for that matter. Autistic or not. Sick.…

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Sawyer, My Brother and your Brother are Both Autistic

A few weeks ago, Sawyer received a handwritten letter in the mail from a boy named Dylan. He is 13. He has a brother with autism too. I sobbed when I read it. This little boy’s letter started a conversation I have been so desperately wanting to have with my son. Thank you Dylan and his mom. Take a read. Dear Sawyer, My name is Dylan and I am 13 years old and live in Texas. My mom watches your mom on the computer. She told me about you and…

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Who Wouldn’t Want a Brother like you?

To my son on his 3rd birthday: You’ve been through so much in your first three years of life. And no I’m not just talking about the eight surgeries you had before you were two years old. Or the daily therapy sessions and weekly doctor appointments. I’m talking about your relationship with your two siblings. Your brother has Autism and is sensitive to touch. Your sister prefers to be by herself and likes her space. I see you making friends everywhere we go. The park, the grocery store, restaurants, whoever…

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When People Stare at you

I used to get so upset when people stared at you. You’d be flapping. Or making happy noises. Screeches. Grunts. High pitched screams. One second you’d be on the floor and the next running only to drop to the ground, roll, laugh and pat the ground. Or you’d be melting down. Screaming. Either way it almost sounds the same. Loud. I’d look around. Make eye contact. And look away. I’d think in my head, stop. Stop Cooper. Stop drawing attention to yourself. To us. Everyone knows. But it’s not for…

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Tell Them He’s Autistic Mama

We were swimming in the pool at the hotel. It was our fourth time in two days. My boys love water. It’s the one and only activity that the two oldest will actually do together. It’s also an activity that we can all enjoy. We would spend all of our time in the pool if we could. Sawyer is always drawn to other kids. He’s been that way his whole life. If he sees a little kid enter the water, he will be with him or her. Cooper, he’s oblivious.…

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To the Mother with her Adult Son at Thomas the Train

To the mother with her adult son at Thomas the Train: You had the oldest child here. I’m guessing he was 25. Your son was tall. He was a man. He even towered over you. I saw him immediately when you arrived. He was practically levitating he was so excited. It was like he had an aura around him. His joy. It radiated. He ran in. Loud. Arms a moving. He ran right up to Thomas and started chatting to himself. Fingers stimming. Head down. Twisting back and forth like…

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Where Would I be Without Autism?

I had an interesting experience this past week. My husband and I volunteered to be apart of a research study looking at how having a child with autism affects our marriage. There were a lot of expected questions like, “what things are more challenging when you have a child with autism compared to other families?”, and “how do you cope with the stress as a married couple”. Some of the questions were hard to answer, some were very easy. There was one question that struck me to the core that…

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An Open Letter to the Person who Knows how to Cure Autism

Stop emailing me. Stop emailing parents like me. Stop. Just stop. Remove us from your mailing list. Leave us alone. Please. Because while I’m weathered enough now to not get my hopes up and fall for these things, many parents aren’t yet. You are preying on families. Moms and dads of newly diagnosed children who have just heard the word autism said out loud for the first time about their beautiful child. ‘Give your child this pill and their autism will be gone.’ ‘Have your child watch this video and…

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Has Autism Changed our decision to have more Children?

July 8th. That date will sit in my head forever. It was the day my son Carter was diagnosed with autism. As his mom knew for about a year before that Carter might have a delay or be “different”. He wasn’t speaking or doing simple things that other kids his age were doing. But before I really noticed anything with Carter his dad and I decided we wanted him to have a sibling. I grew up close with my sisters and I wanted that for my children. Being pregnant with…

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The Message The Today Show Sent about Healthy Babies

If you run in the special needs parenting circles you’ve heard about the segment The Today Show did on how big of a relief it was for the former Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson and her husband to get the test results back that their baby did not have Down Syndrome and was “genetically healthy”. I actually was watching The Today Show the morning it was aired. One thing I thought was a bit distasteful was how they were teasing it up in the promos. Like, tune in, hopefully there is…

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