Archive for July 2018
Always Be You Little Man
My Little Wild One, Some days aren’t easy, and some days the unknown future can get me down, but I want you to know something. It’s never you. It’s never your fault. You are perfect the way you are. You might always be the oddball, the odd one out. You may be called names. You might get left out, and overlooked, ignored and maybe picked on, but I want you to know something. It’s never you. The sad thing is people are too busy. The world moves too fast. People…
Read MoreAutism Can Surf
Looking back over the last few months, my heart and mind fill with emotions. At one time, I thought so many things might not ever happen. My boy, Jake was diagnosed with autism at age two and has been nonverbal his whole life. Well, autism.. Then it happened. My sweet Jake is now 19 years old and if I counted the times I’ve heard through the years the things he would not do, I might have given up. As parents we have dreams way before our kids are born. I…
Read MoreIt Could Be…
Yesterday I picked up my son from therapy and I knew instantly that something was off. He was with his favorite therapist. The one he absolutely adores. As I sat in my car watching her come out of the building with him, I immediately noticed how he was darting a bit. He was pulling away from her. Waving his arms. And my stomach dropped. I knew right then. Something was wrong. I jumped out and greeted him the way I always do. Like I haven’t seen him in years. I…
Read MoreMy Son has Never Been a Burden
I received an email last night. It was from a disabled adult. She self identified that way. She told me that she feels like a burden to her family. She feels guilty. She feels sad. She feels awful for the stress her disability has caused her parents. She worries that her siblings resent her. She said she lies awake at night wishing she could make her parent’s lives easier. She feels like a burden. I read the email over and over again. And I felt like I’d been punched in…
Read MoreI’m Not So Scared Anymore
My dear little one, The last few days with you have been utter bliss. Maybe I am being overly dramatic, but at least that’s how it feels after some pretty tough weeks. Although we do have one behavior getting a tad worse…My heart breaks every time you forcefully bring your beautiful little face to the ground in frustration but I don’t want to talk about that right now. Because there are way too many little big wins we are having. Like the time I pointed to your cup across the…
Read MoreNot Numb
I am the one that waits. I wait in traffic on the way to therapy. I wait for the tantrums to pass. I wait anxiously during the haircuts, dentist appointments, doctor’s visits, and in line to pick him up from preschool. I don’t wait the same way, either. Depending on the situation I can be waiting for Mason to finish his play time to transition to a new activity while drinking a relaxing cup of coffee, or I can be in the process of biting my nails off due to…
Read MoreAge Thirteen
My typical daughter, Sasha was recently in her middle school musical. When we were reviewing the performance I mentioned one of the actresses I thought did a great job. “What grade is she in?” I asked. “She’s in seventh grade. She’s Alaina’s age.” My daughter said casually. She’s Alaina’s age? My face dropped. I felt the familiar feelings. A combination of shock and sorrow. That’s what girls in seventh grade are like? This 13 year old girl..she was so..so so older, so funny, so focused, so verbal. I squinted my…
Read MoreA Letter to My Son Will
Having a child changes your whole world….You hear it all the time but honestly, it really does. Once that beautiful baby arrives in the world, the sleep-ins are a thing of the past. Most meals are eaten cold. You find yourself still in your pj’s at 3pm. You wonder how you’re going to get through another day with having had 4 hours sleep the night before. You’re emotional, you’re tired, scared, happy, anxious but somehow it doesn’t seem to matter, because you are now holding your little bundle of joy…
Read MoreThe Never Ending Vaccination Question
Am I going to vaccinate my baby? Do I think vaccines cause autism? Did I vaccinate my first two children? I get these questions daily. Typically always from a sweet, curious mother. They wonder what I plan to do. Little do they know that I will never, under any circumstance, answer that question. Some parents hide deep, dark secrets. I hide my opinion on vaccines. Why? Because my answers affect the safety of my children. After my video went viral, people sent me pictures of dead babies. Actual photos of…
Read MoreI Dream Differently Than You
Being a victim sounds horrible but sometimes I think we fail to recognize that at times it is self-induced. I can’t go to the store because my son might throw a tantrum. We cannot afford to have a date night because we cannot find a babysitter. I have no friends. I am going to wait to start my business because of my husband’s work situation. We cannot go on vacation because my son does not transition well and we cannot afford it. I have personally said every single one of…
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